Had a good weekend with Bear. The focus of this week will be happiness. It doesn’t matter what progress I make on my multiple fronts; I am going to be positive and try to put my mental state first. I know that when I am depressed, it depresses Bear, and then I just feel guilty about that, which brings me down even further, but after our good talk last night, he assured me that what he cares about most is just that I’m happy, not whether or not I have a job. I told him to keep telling me that. I think he thinks I take it for granted that he loves me unconditionally – by that I mean I think that he does love me unconditionally, so much that he assumes he doesn’t have to make sure that I realize it – and so he never assumes, when he’s wrestling with his own issues, that I assume it’s about me. Of course I always assume it’s about me. I’m insecure and narcissistic at the same time, joy. Anyway, as always, it was good to connect and have the hard discussions. Things are always better after we slog through the mental mess we create. I create. No, we create.
walk Cosmo(gonna be hot today…when to do this?) feed Cadenza run/ work out mail in my membership to the Dem LD go through house and gather up trashes take trashes out (and recycling) apply to volunteer position– emailed Empower2Play. If I don’t hear back soon, I will go on to Planet Rehab. make weekly to-do list call about yard waste bin (AGAIN)(Spoke to Kaylee; added to expedited list and the bin should be here tomorrow) clean toilets clean kitchen sink clean upstairs bathroom sinks, mirrors, floor